[Disclaimer] I don't own Arashi, or Johnny's Ent. They do own my heart, however.
[Summary] Jun hesitates because Nino has always been there.
[Notes] I love Matsumiya
When Jun met Nino on the first day of kindergarten, the teacher was lecturing him for decorating the walls with crayon. Nino had been a small kid, and he probably felt smaller under the teacher's harsh words. Jun watched for a bit, and then went back to sorting the blocks by colour.
Later during the day, Jun found Nino sitting at a table by himself, slouched over with his head down and his eyes dark and lonely. Jun looked over at the walls and saw yellow and purple and green and blue and red colours, scribbled on carelessly.
Crawling into a chair next to Nino, Jun patted his arm. "There's no orange," he said, pointing to the scribbling. Nino looked up in shock, but Jun continued. "If it's a rainbow, then there has to be orange, right?" Jun looked closer and poked Nino's arm. "You forgot the clouds, too."
A smile broke across Nino's face, and scrambling out of his chair, he dragged Jun over to another clean wall.
A half an hour later, the teacher came back into the room to find both Nino and Jun giggling in front of the new coloured wall, and she demanded them stay inside for recess, after snack time.
They didn't mind. After all, sitting in the corner together was much better than just sitting in the corner all by oneself.
In elementary school, Nino had taken to calling Jun just 'Jun'; he figured that since Jun wasn't a very cute person, he didn't deserve a cute honorific, considering that Jun had grown to be a terribly picky, short-tempered person. Jun had been calling Nino 'Kazu' since they'd met, so he didn't have any real reason to suddenly start calling him something else.
Though sometimes Jun thought 'idiot' was a great word to describe Nino when he found Nino drawing stick figures on the chalkboard one day after school.
In the sixth grade, the last year of elementary, Jun caught Nino talking with a girl in the school hallways. Nino was smiling and laughing and nodding his head while Jun was standing a few meters away, watching. Nino had always been the friendly type of person, Jun knew, but he couldn't help but step from behind and drag Nino away from the conversation.
Nino was an idiot. But Jun was selfish.
Maybe it was because of his hair. Maybe it was because of that cheeky grin that never changed over the years. Jun didn't know what it was, but clearly he liked it, because when Nino started his era of skinship, he didn't tell Nino to stop.
Nino's arm found its way around Jun's shoulders, and Jun didn't brush it away. Nino's head found its way to Jun's shoulder, and Jun didn't knock it away. Nino's head also found its way into Jun's lap during lunchtimes, and Jun didn't bother moving it, because he couldn't bring himself to do it when there was no reason to do it.
But Nino's arms were also around other peoples' shoulders. His head also rested on other shoulders and laps. Jun didn't stick out at all.
There were times when Jun felt that maybe he wasn't as special to Nino as other people were.
But Nino comes to Jun to grip his arms tightly, to calm his shaky breaths, hides his face in the crook of Jun's neck, and asks Jun to just be there. Just for a few minutes. Just until Nino can collect his shattered pieces of glass and become himself again.
Jun embraces him and pretends that he's the only person that gets to see Nino like this.
They grow up together and then one day, Nino calls Jun an old man, and Jun smacks him because for goodness sake, they're the same age.
Nino still hangs out with Jun. He still goes out to see movies with him and the two of them often go out to eat as well (and just because, Nino makes Jun pay almost all the time). He still throws his arms around Jun's shoulders and rests his head on his shoulder and in his lap. But now, he's not afraid to lean back against Jun and settle his head against the crook of his neck. He's not afraid to turn his head slightly during a movie and press a kiss to Jun's cheek.
He's not afraid of saying 'I love you' to him.
If anything, it's because Jun says 'I love you' back.